What is the difference between a Twin Flame, Flame Mate and a Soul Mate? Can we find true happiness only when we find another member of our soul family? Just because we find a member of our soul family, does that mean that we must stay with them no matter what?
In my SRT Practice, relationship counseling represents the majority of issues facing my clients insofar as to how they relate to themselves and their physical existence. One of the first things I check when it comes to these relationships is where on the spectrum of the soul family the relationship in question happens to lie.
In "Soul Re-Creation", written by SRT's founder, Robert Detzler, Robert attempts to put the Soul Family into perspective so that we can better understand how souls who travel together relate to each other. The reason why we refer to certain soul relationships as "Flame" relationships is due to their proximity to the "fire of creation", which occurs then our souls originally split away from SOURCE and became individual entities, each with a set of soul instructions that they take with them into their physical incarnations.
Imagine a number of souls that are created by a single spark or flame. The spark explodes outward to form the pattern of a flower. This flower represents your "flame family". Each petal of the flower as a male and female aspect, and are "Twin Flames". Twin flames can have up to nine divisions on a single petal, which means that in any given lifetime, you may find up to eight different people who are your "Twin Flames", which is a good thing because if one of your Twin Flame relationships does not work out for whatever reason, it is still possible for you to find another one within a single lifetime.
The other petals relative to yourself in this flower are your "Flame Mates". That is, these are other souls who are part of your soul family or "pack", but they may not have the same level of connection or intensity that a Twin Flame will have on you.
The last category is the "Soul Mate". Soul Mates are interesting because these souls may or may not be part of your soul family, but for some reason the two of you have been drawn together in order to experience something in particular or learn a specific lesson. These relationships are like partnerships in many ways in that they are generally meant to fulfill a specific purpose and then the two souls will often move apart once that purpose is fulfilled, either in this lifetime or in the next.
While there is a lot of literature regarding how Twin Flames and Soul Mates work together, very little information exists on the Flame Mate. This is likely due to the myth that one cannot be fulfilled in life unless you find your Twin Flame or Soul Mate and I believe that Twin Flames and Flame Mates are often used interchangeably, which can be misleading. All of this, of course, is an illusion that is based on an overly romanticized view of how soul relationships work.
According to Robert, while you can have up to eight Twin Flames, you can have up to 72 Flame Mates within your soul family. You will know when you meet someone within your soul family when you feel an instant emotional connection with them that is not easily explained or understood. It will be like you know them on a subconscious level even if you come from different countries or speak a different language.
The biggest danger with a Twin Flame relationship is that these types of relationships can quickly turn into co-dependent relationships, where each person has difficulty imagining themselves as an individual outside of the other person. This can be disastrous for a soul who needs to understand themselves as an individual in order to learn certain lessons and have certain experiences. However, obsession and codependency is not limited to Twin Flames.
When Flame Mate couples meet for the first time, there is also a danger that the relationship can turn into a codependent one, although the emphasis may be different than what we often experience with Twin Flame relationships. Just as with the Twin Flame, when Flame Mates meet, there is a moment of recognition between the two. While the "love at first sight" experience generally occurs with Twin Flames, Flame Mates often feel as though they have known this person from some other time, because quite often, they have experienced many different lifetimes together.
If you are in a place in your personal development where you are feeling lost, confused or incomplete, meeting your Twin Flame or Flame Mate can, at least temporarily, provide you with a feeling of completion that can be intoxicating. Sometimes, this need to be with the other person can lead to taking enormous risks in order to spend time with this person. Past life research reveals that much of the trauma we have experienced in our lifetimes have been due to Twin Flame and Flame Mate relationships disrupting family and societal norms to the point where people are either hurt or killed.
On a personal level, the trauma of being in a Twin Flame or Flame Mate relationship when you are not ready often leads to a person who loses their personal identity in the other person. Without a strong sense of self and a strong sense of your own soul's purpose, you start to lose yourself in the other person to the point where you no longer have any identity for yourself.
Relationships where one person's identity is wrapped up in another have a tendency to either grow stale to the point where one partner decides to leave, or it could also lead to neglect, infidelity, abuse, or a combination of one or more of the above. To make matters more complicated, we have already established that each person has up to eight Twin Flames and up to 72 Flame Mates. And since we have already established that souls have a tendency to travel together in packs, there is a good chance that either you or your partner may run across another Twin Flame or (more likely) another Flame Mate within your current lifetime.
If you are currently in a Twin Flame or Flame Mate relationship that has become difficult because the "magic" is gone, or you suspect that the relationship is starting to fall apart, Spiritual Response Therapy (SRT) can help. SRT has protocols that will help you to heal your relationship with your own soul so that you can see your current situation from a more empowered perspective. With that new perspective, we can then work with your partner to heal the relationship or we can work together to provide you with greater personal power so you can be a stronger, independent person.
What we must always keep in our minds whenever we seek any sort of relationship with another person is that happiness within the relationship is only possible when both partners have a strong, independent sense of self that is separate from their partner. The minute we wrap our own existence in the destiny of another person, we give up our personal power, and without that, the relationship, not to mention the fulfillment of our own soul's purpose, is in danger of falling apart.
Thank you SPIRIT!